• Ashes

Call Me Charlie, Call Me Jane

For SOME time now I have been working on some novels. 3 to be exact. I have what I like to call the skeleton for 2 of them and the other, that was adapted by a script, is halfway done. These 3 novels are the first of many books in progress. If I could show you my phone or the corner in my room you would see. Over 63 Plots, Ideas and Synopsis in my phone alone! I should never want for ideas or content. No. Ideas and inspiration is not the issue.

As someone who loves to write, there is something sacred to it. Pieces of yourself you are allowing someone to see. It has almost everything to do with what's between the lines. Yes, editors help but it's the creativity of the author. Maybe even pieces of their own personality embedded in characters.

How they process, the way they structure the conversation, the development of the characters. It's a small glimpse into their brain.

These books are similar in that the main characters are strong, young women who understand the realities of their choices. They embrace love the best way they can but they chose what will make them happy and fulfilled. I have pulled pieces of me throughout my life and given them to each character in some way. It has allowed me to look deeper both inward and outward.

After being around young girls and grown women and seeing a lack or absence of self-love and making the tough decisions. I wanted to write something with many under-toned messages. I wanted the characters to have enough depth to illicit conversation and introspection but still be relatable. I don't want to write these incredibly long and deep novels. But I do want them to be sweetly profound. And I know I can't write these alone.

However, the beloved element of sappy romance was not excluded. But I want to leave a portion of the fantasy out of it. Give these guys something real to them. When I talk to this young girls they continue to give these young boys an unrealistic expectation. Boys need a challenge, something to work at. But they don't need an fantastical expectation.

Ok, I'm getting off track. The point of this post is to put myself on the spot. Give a sense of urgency to devote more time to completing these novels. To not let them become and stay a nice dream or goal.

I have dreams and expectations for my work. I want to get better and have content that people want to read and want to know more about. I want to write characters that are relatable and give perspective. I don't think this is a hard task but I do believe that this is very generalized and so broad that it won't reach every young girl out there contemplating and judging. I want these books and characters to make a difference somewhere to someone even if it is just one girl. I'm cool with that.

I actually had to think some on that. Am I really cool with just one person being changed by my books? I mean I want to have a career, a livelihood with writing. Can that happen if only one person is reading your stuff?

I have thought and gone back and forth with myself on this topic. But, I am slowly, more and more, beginning to accept that if this is what I was suppose to do with my life. If I was always to supposed to write about whatever, then yes. It is completely OK. Because if this is what I am supposed to do, if my life's purpose lies in the words I write then one person's life being changed in any capacity, is worth it. Simple, really.

With all the dreams and goals I've had for myself, they have always been for mostly selfish reasons. I wanted to be successful, make a name for myself. Build a legacy on my successes.

I am a writer. Even if I am not published yet. I actually am not worried about that not happening. As long as I walk in my dream and purpose and be tenacious, it will happen.


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