• Ashes

Evolution of Best Friends

Updated: Apr 13

When I was 10, I met one of my life long friends...let's call her, Jessie, and her family. At the time I didn't know she would become one of my best friend. In fact, I thought that her older sister... Juno, was suppose to be my best friend since we were both the older sisters. But as time went on, My little sister and Jessie's older sister were so much a like it was uncanny, despite their 4 year age difference. The four of us over the next few years were able to get close to each other and it was during this time that we all discovered that Jessie and I had more in common. She, like me, loved just about the very same things and bonded over Disney and singing and The Jonas Brothers!

As the years went on and we got older our conversations developed into more serious ones. Like starting a group with our sisters. We wrote songs, including an album called Box of Chocolates. We shared dreams and aspirations and goals. We talked about going to college and graduating and how we would get an apartment together and be able to hangout all the time and just be the best-est of friends for the rest of our lives and to me nothing and no one would change that. But life happened and I for one wasn't expecting what happened.

After high school graduation she went off to University. Our families always lived almost hour away from each other and though we had to depend on our moms to get to see each other, we thought once college rolled around and we had cars, we would see each other all the time. That didn't happen. Like many people, college changes you. And we were changing and drifting apart in my eyes. She was making new friends and breaking out of her shell. And I was forming my own shell, sitting back and watching. It saddened me but it upset me the most. I still hadn't learned that even your best friend, needs to have other friends. I was feeling possessive and replaced. But since there was minimal talking and I wasn't being honest with her, how would she know what I thought? I didn't understand and didn't speak up. Since about half-way through college she and I haven't been the same. We aren't the same people and we aren't in the same place. We believe different things and approach and see life in different ways. One thing that I do know, that no matter where life takes us or how different we become, she will always be in my life, along with her family. There are too many memories and love between all of us that there is no such thing as "long-lost" for me. Though things have been different between us we are still able to get to know each other again. Open up the lines of communication and be completely honest because we aren't little girls anymore. I do not know what the future holds, nor do I know how the relationship with change further but I do know that true friends will always be there.

Life goes on and though I still consider her a very close friend, a life friend, I have other best friends. One of them is a polar opposite of me but it still works. There was a time I didn't believe in having more than one best friend but now I do. There are people in your life for a reason, some just for a season, some for a lifetime. Some are there for every part of your life while others are just there for one. Regardless of where we are at now, Jessie will remain a friend, along with a pinch of others. This has been a hard lesson to learn, to still be learning. Friendships don't always turn out like you thought or hoped. Sometimes they get better, while other times they get worse. Sometimes, they remain the same with lingering hope for it to get stronger.

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